Opinion | Four Legal Immigrants Offer a Warning for America

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This is “The Opinions,” a show that brings you a mix of voices from “New York Times Opinion.” You’ve heard the news. Here’s what to make of it.

I’m Vishakha Darbha. I’m an audio producer for “The Opinions.”

There’s about 16 million foreign-born people in the US who have a green card or a long-term visa, like me. I immigrated here for grad school. We make up nearly 5 percent of the total US population and work in all kinds of industries, from tech to finance to the arts to journalism. And over the past few months, there’s been a growing fear, even panic, among many of us about the Trump administration’s deportations and threats, which has stretched far beyond targeting undocumented people.

For a long time, the US represented a hope for people seeking a place where they could find opportunities while speaking freely and living openly without any retribution. But now, something foundational is changing.

So I set out to interview a group of immigrants about how they’re thinking about their futures and whatever’s left of their American dream. What they told me felt like a warning, that this country doesn’t feel like a place to come to anymore, which might just change the very idea that America has of itself.

Could you tell me your name?

My name is Ana. I moved to the US the first time from Brazil in 2009. I’m a green card holder, and I am actually eligible for citizenship.

My name is Ari. I moved to the US in 2018 from China. I’m a green card holder.

My name is Francisco. I moved from Peru to the US around 10 years ago. I’m currently under an O-1 visa.

My name is Pallavi. I first came here in 2008 from Bombay, in India. And right now, I am a permanent resident.

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These people are not the faces of the harshest immigration crackdowns, but they’re people who have felt the slow drip pressure of the Trump administration’s policies. And it’s changed the way that they feel about themselves, the US, and their future.

Could you tell me a little bit about how you saw America before you moved here? Like, what was your perception of it?

I think growing up, I always saw America as kind of a dream destination. It was this ultimate Western ideal of democracy and freedom. And it’s a country where you could be yourself. It felt different from my upbringing. And it’s something that I always wanted.

The US felt like a stepping stone into much bigger things, into a larger world, into a bigger stage.

As an artist, especially, to be able to actually conceive of a life in the arts, it seemed more possible because there are so many institutions that support that kind of education here, or fund your education. When I came to study here, India was also changing politically, and there was a transformation in the freedom of press. And so, in contrast to that, it seemed like the US still had that and was offering that.

It was mostly a pop culture dreamland for me.

“Seinfeld” [LAUGHS]: was like a big show for me.

I was insanely addicted to MTV. I would actually record all my VHS and learn all the choreographies from Britney Spears and Beyoncé at the time with Destiny’s Child. And I really realized that I was becoming somewhat fluent in English. I’ll never forget that moment when I translated “Have You Ever Seen the Rain?” And I just felt so proud.

Where do you feel that you’ve contributed the most to American society? And by that I don’t necessarily mean your job. It could be. But I also mean just your community, like anything else you do on the side, family, friends. Like, where do you feel that contribution has been the most?

So financially, I have been contributing to this country well before I had any capacity to receive anything from the country. So that would be, I would say, is my first contribution. I make art here. I work here. I have designed things here. I think that as an artist and teacher, my presence here is positive. I mean, I’m not a malignant presence, that’s for sure.

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So before Trump was elected this term, what were your feelings living in the United States? By that, I mean, did you think a lot about your immigration status? How much brain space did it occupy before Trump was elected?

I guess I’ve been thinking about it since day one, since I got here. I think for me, the anxiety was always about, how am I going to stay here? I went to college here as a student. And then I was like, OK, I need to find a job. I need to find not just a job, but a secure and stable job that’s going to help with my immigration. And also, everything had to fit into this path of securing my spot here.

If I compare Trump one versus Trump two, in Trump one, there were a lot of initial challenges to the immigration process and, of course, a very angry discourse coming from the president of the country. But I don’t think that compares to what we’re seeing now because you felt at least some security if you acquired a certain status in Trump one. In Trump two, that’s out the window. You might have a paper saying you have a certain visa. I don’t think it’s too relevant if they want to change that.

Mahmoud Khalil’s arrest was the beginning of a change in how I felt about my freedom and ability here, especially because of his green card. And so it just made me feel that, yeah, nothing is off the table.

I understood what freedom of speech really meant in the American sense, and I started to have a real appreciation for that. The idea that even if I did disagree with you deeply, I still believe in the right for you to speak it. So there has been a real struggle for me to understand how rapidly that all changed. I don’t know. I just have a sense of fear all the time.

The other day, I went to a Brazilian supermarket, and I was genuinely happy. It honestly made me feel safe. I was in that bubble, speaking Portuguese. And suddenly, six guys just walked in. They didn’t have any identification, but they started stopping people. I just kind of froze.

And then when they approached me, they weren’t violent, they weren’t aggressive, and the tone was very polite, but the words were very threatening. And they were asking, can you produce evidence of your immigration status? And thankfully, I had my green card with me, and I showed it to them. And they kind of just dismissed me and moved on to the next person. Not even a “thank you,” not even an explanation, just moving on.

They did take a couple people with them that day. And if I didn’t have my green card, I would have been taken, right? And that was such a punch in my gut. That was such a huge reality check.

I mean, I’ve done something I’m so ashamed of, which is that I have deleted things I post. I mean, it is a display of what I believe in, what I think, what I’m working on. And to have to do that now, I think it feels really odd.

In my group chats with other immigrants who come from very different places, there’s a consensus among the group of maybe don’t say anything. Let’s not even text about it, because we worry that will be read by someone in the USCIS, the immigration agency.

And then, this year, every time I’ve flown, I’m very nervous that something will happen at the point of entry and raise some issues, or my phone gets requested. I have friends who have deleted a lot of stuff on their phones who have a burner phone for traveling.

I’ve tried to think about why I might be unpleasant to somebody or what about my arrival could be difficult for another person. I think in this country, the most captivating and compelling cities are the ones that are culturally in flux. I think that makes for a more vibrant and interesting life because you are faced with contrast and difference. Because I was thinking, what’s the end game here? Like, do you actually not want immigrants to be here, and how can that be? Does this country actually not like immigrants? And I almost could not believe this question or answer it because I can’t think of why you wouldn’t.

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Have you made any future decisions about your place here, and if you want to stay on, if you want to go somewhere else? How are you thinking about all of that?

For the past decade, I’ve been moving wherever my job took me, and that meant sacrificing having a family, being close to my family, having a community. All my friends are spread around the world because I’ve been moving so much for my job. That has been my priority.

But even that is changing for me. I am honestly thinking about pivoting my career completely and try to become a diplomat for Brazil. My impetus to do that is because I want to help build that project of a country I believe in and help my fellow Brazilians have a life that is dignified, and that they won’t feel like they have to leave to have that social mobility, to have that economic stability. They won’t have to leave and go through this to have a dignified life.

I would never buy books until I got a green card because I was always afraid that I would have to leave. And so where would all these heavy things go? And so it’s only when I got my job and I have this green card that I even bought something heavier than my own self.

But then I also thought that do I, in my one finite life, do I want to spend a significant part of this wondering if something is going to happen to me or wondering if I am welcome here? And it’s one thing if it’s happening in your motherland where you are born, and that is what you’ve been given. It’s another thing altogether to choose this. And I do not choose this for myself.

And if that is the agenda, is to make enough people scared that oh, you should go, then, yes, I will go. I will go somewhere else where I don’t have to feel so gross and I don’t have to feel afraid, because I am lucky to have that choice.

About a year ago, my youngest brother wanted to also pursue grad school. He is more on the business side of things. So he was very interested in an MBA. He had this dream of, like, we’d be living in the same city together. And of course, how beautiful for me as an older brother to assist him in all the things I didn’t have when I first moved, like helping him navigate the immigration system, all these things.

But as time went by, I realized, well, Trump’s becoming a possibility. So we had a conversation, and he told me he would also like to explore some options in Europe. Then finally, the election happened, and then I started seeing some of these big changes. And that pushed me to tell my brother, just don’t come here.

There’s no way this makes sense for you. It’s a huge investment from your own money, from your own savings. There’s no return on investment here, if you want to put it in, very plainly, economic terms, like this administration would. Let’s find somewhere else. So it was a bummer, but I think that was the best choice for him, is to not consider the US.

At the start of this conversation, I asked you about how you saw America before you came here and why you came here. How do you see this country now?

I think what I saw before was kind of one-dimensional, and it’s a simple ideal. It’s an easy slogan, I guess, to think about democracy and freedom and all those typical American ideals. But now, what I see is reality, is that we’re living in a world that is not always kind. And I think I’m still grappling with that, you know?

I feel like American dream is something that is fed to immigrants to say that you must work hard. You can do it. Anyone can do it. But when you think about it, that has never been true, you know? It has never been the reality for immigrants to just — there’s a reason why it’s called a dream. And that’s why, because it’s an ideal and not a reality. And I think I’m starting to understand this reality of the world and that not everyone is going to be here and not everyone’s going to do well here.

I wake up every day feeling like this is a dystopian reality, and it scares me how much Americans don’t even want to acknowledge it. And that has been hard to come to terms with because it feels like even for me, as an immigrant with a green card, I have a real sense of guilt, because while I’m here talking to you and expressing myself, there are people in jails right now in El Salvador and being deported without due process, right?

And then I think of Americans thinking of us legal and illegal immigrants who are like, oh, it’s not affecting me yet. Well, are you going to wait until it does affect you to do something?

Where is that compassion you always showed, to some extent, at least, right? Americans are — they love to portray themselves in pop culture, which I grew up with, as the country that’s going to step in and save democracy. We have Wonder Woman. We have Captain America. We have all of that pop culture. They’re going to be the beacon of hope. How can you be the beacon of hope if you’re not standing up at your house?

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On that note, thank you so much for chatting with me.

Thank you. Thank you so much. And thank you for asking these questions.

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If you like this show, follow it on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. “The Opinions” is produced by Derek Arthur, Sophia Alvarez Boyd, Vishakha Darbha, Kristina Samulewski, and Jillian Weinberger. It’s edited by Kaari Pitkin, Alison Bruzek, and Annie-Rose Strasser.

Engineering, mixing, and original music by Isaac Jones, Sonia Herrero, Pat McCusker, Carole Sabouraud, and Efim Shapiro. Additional music by Aman Sahota. The fact-check team is Kate Sinclair, Mary Marge Locker, and Michelle Harris. Audience strategy by Shannon Busta and Kristina Samulewski. The executive producer of Times Opinion Audio is Annie-Rose Strasser.